The Truth About Milk Sharing: What Doulas and Birthworkers Should Know

Learn what milk sharing really is, how it's safely practiced, and why doulas should be talking about it with clients. This is more than feeding..

It's community care.

Milk sharing isn't new. It's how humanity has sustained itself through wars, famines, fire seasons, and formula recalls. But in today's fragmented postpartum landscape, many birthworkers don't know how to talk about it—let alone recommend it with confidence.

This post is your no-shame, scope-aligned, emotionally intelligent guide to milk sharing. Whether you've heard of Share the Drop or not, this will help you offer real support without stepping outside your role.

What Is Milk Sharing?

There are two types:

Formal milk donation through certified milk banks (usually for NICU babies)
Informal peer-to-peer sharing between families, often locally, based on informed consent

Platforms like Share the Drop allow families with extra milk to match with families who need it—sort of like a dating app, but for feeding support.

It’s about connecting families to options they often don’t know exist.

Why Milk Sharing Exists (And Matters)

Too many families are left in the lurch:

Parents with low supply, chronic illness, or medication needs
Breast cancer survivors who cannot lactate
Foster/adoptive parents and same-sex couples
Families affected by formula shortages or recalls

And on the other side?

Parents with oversupply who want to share the extra liquid gold
A deep desire to help, just not a clear way to do it

Milk sharing bridges that gap. And it’s been happening quietly in mom groups and yoga studios for decades. Platforms like Share the Drop just make it safer, simpler, and easier to talk about.

Is It Safe?

The #1 concern from parents and professionals: “Isn’t that risky?”

Why Kelly Cox, founder of Share the Drop, says "date your donor" and shared:

No money is allowed on the app (this prevents exploitation)
Donors can opt to share recent lab work
Profiles are zip-code based, encouraging in-person exchanges
Home pasteurization is possible and taught for those who want extra precautions
There’s a reporting feature if anything feels off

Like any donor system, it requires trust and transparency. But it’s built on consent, community, and communication, not fear.

Doulas, Let’s Normalize This Conversation

We spend so much time helping families build a birth plan. But what about a feeding plan?

As doulas, we can:

Help clients explore what feeding support could look like before baby comes
Share tools like Share the Drop as part of a postpartum prep kit
Encourage attending prenatal breastfeeding classes or support groups

And most importantly: we can validate that needing milk is not a failure and having milk is not a burden, it’s a gift.

What to Say (Without Overstepping)

If you’re wondering how to bring this up without stepping outside scope, here’s some sample language:

"There are a few ways families meet their feeding goals, and one of them is milk sharing. If you ever want to explore that, I can point you to some safe, parent-led resources like Share the Drop."

Or:

"You don’t have to decide now, but if you ever need extra milk—or want to donate some—there are local tools that make that easier. Would it help to talk through them together?"

When Milk Is More Than Milk

One of the most moving stories from the Share the Drop community came from a mom who lost her baby at 38 weeks. She chose to pump and donate milk for six months in her son’s honor. That milk went to another mom in the same town who had undergone a double mastectomy.

The milk helped her heal. The sharing helped them both.

That’s what this is really about. Nourishment, but also community, and maternal resilience.

Share the Drop: A Simple Tool to Offer

Here’s what doulas should know:

The app is free for donors
Recipients pay $19.99/month to message matches
WIC/SNAP recipients use it free (fees waived by founder)
You can buy a subscription for someone through the Feed It Forward tab
Questions? Email kelly@sharethedrop.com or visit sharethedrop.com

You don’t need to be a lactation consultant to help your clients explore feeding options.

You just need confidence, tools and to know where to point them when extra help is needed.

Want More Lactation Confidence?

If you’re a doula who wants to feel equipped, not overwhelmed, when feeding questions come up, join our free training:

👉 Confident Lactation for Birthworkers: Stand Out, Get Referrals, Grow.